Steven and I returned home to Colorado on Tuesday night after visiting family in Texas.

I said “home to Colorado” on purpose. Because I’m trying to convince myself. My dear, lovely Coloradan friends, know that I love this state. I love its mountains, its arid climate, its wild and unkempt beauty. I love our church and its people. I love that it snows in the winter, then warms up to the 60s the next day, then snows again. I love its autumn colors, its comfortably warm summer, its blooming spring.

But I wanna go home.

I am home. I am home. I am home. Colorado is where we’ve pitched our tent. But every day brings me closer to the day we’ll welcome Baby into the world, and I miss the familiar culture. I miss the short winters. I miss my mama. And there are some days that I feel completely out of place here. Plus, the drive home… er… I mean to Texas, where everyone else in our family lives… is looooong. I’m far away from where I wish to be, living in this beautiful place, yearning for fewer organic health food stores and more Whataburgers.

Sometimes I wonder if the Lord has kept me away so that I’ll cling to my heavenly citizenship. Or maybe the time away will make my return sweeter. No matter the reason, I am here, surrounded by good scenery, good people, a good life. Many reasons to want to stay, yet the desire to head south persists. It’s maddening.


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