Mother of boys

February 18, week from today, we will be celebrating Sammy’s birthday. I feel like it’s looming, for some reason, and it makes me kind of nervous. It’s not as though I am anticipating a big event… it’s just the day that will mark a year, which makes the time that has passed seem so much more final. Anyway, I love the photos of his name that I have received so far, and if you had plans to send a photo and have not gotten around to it, here’s your reminder! 🙂

And here’s some photos that anyone but our family will find boring, I think. We have acquired the crib, the car seat, and a take-along swing!

The mini crib we picked. Should be just the right size for our little haven. Thanks to Steven's parents!

The only seat that would fit comfortably in our gas-sipper. Steven says adults should have car seats this cushy. Road trips would be a dream.

The folding swing. Gotta love Craigslist!

It is strange to carry both grief and joy at the same time. Several of my closest friends and family have acknowledged this, and I am so touched. You would think these emotions would oppose one another, but I am finding that one enhances the other. I am grateful to be grieving and celebrating my first little boy, Sam. I am equally grateful to be gathering baby things and eagerly anticipating my second son whose name I will NOT blurt out (Shannon!). I was afraid that in finding out that this little one is another boy, I might feel like I was carrying Sam again. But I envision them, two very different brothers with their arms around one another, dressed in overalls, posing for a picture for my imagination. Several of my loved ones have wondered with me if Sam knows, if maybe God told him about his little brother. I hope so.

My good friend Jen wrote about grief and joy, and her blog entry has echoed in my heart since she wrote it. Read it, will you?


3 thoughts on “Mother of boys

  1. You and sam have been on my mind lately as his birthday is approaching. You are walking that obscure tightrope of joy and grief and I love how you are able to see that they can enhance each other.

    I LOVE the image you have of Sam and stink bug (is it okay if I call him that?! I LOVE that little nickname!)

    Praying for a peaceful week ahead and a chance to celebrate Sam’s precious little life.

  2. joy & grief go hand in hand quite a bit. praying for you, Steven, Stinkbug & the rest of your family as Sam’s birthday approaches. Jen’s words are very true…I can see why they echoed in your heart. God bless you Megan!

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