As I begin to spill words, it is 5:30 on the morning of Easter 2012. The boys are sleeping through the last bit of serene darkness, but I wanted to revel in the celebration of the day ahead before it picks up steam with the sunrise.
In my last post, I shared my prayer that God would provide for us. We were waiting for some income to arrive. First it was a week late, then a month late, then two months late. And then we had bills, and were wondering why God hadn’t shown up for us financially. But He did. In the perfect moment, provision came, and we paid all of our bills. It came in a way that only God could have provided, in one of those ways that not only replenishes the bank account, but replenishes our hope and reminds us of the depth of His gifts. We have a roof over our heads (I love this house…). We have never missed a meal, done without things we need, or even accrued any debt, not even once, since Steven’s unemployment began. We have more support from our friends and family than we could ever exhaust. And the foundation, structure, and binding of our lives is the Gospel. As exciting as all the tangible provision was, our daily spiritual renewal is the most exciting.
The Lord has been whispering something specific to me for the past few weeks, bringing me back to life in areas I thought were simply decaying. It is good to be His child, to be a Christian, to hear from His Holy Spirit. It is good to draw from the deep well that is His grace. This is what I continue to hear, multiple times during the day: Live out of My fullness.
I had not realized how habitually I had been living out of obligation, out of fear, out of shame. It has been one of those times in life when I wake up tired, and not just physically. I am so deeply tired. And so this Divine whisper is so timely. I am unpacking the idea of living out of fullness, day by day, and I have come to anchor my calling of late to the passage in the Bible in which Jesus invites the woman at the well to partake of Living Water, John 4.
Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.
He is the source, and He provides us a way to live that actually has such depth and life that it bursts out of the earth in a way no other well could. I love that. I love that! Day to day life on a broken planet can be monotonous. Like the woman at the well, I gather water jar after water jar working past the weight of shame that is the life of a Samaritan sinner. And I thirst and continue to gather water to quench it. It is both over- and underwhelming, and it feels like quiet agony.
And then Jesus whispers, Live out of My fullness, and invites me to partake of His love, His grace, His mercy. Draw from the well that has no bottom, and even surpasses the surface of the earth. This is the life of the believer. We draw from an unending and unreserved Source. Thank you Jesus.
It is Easter. This is the day we remember. He is alive. And so are we.